For the empath in the storm.
Their storm. Not your roof.
You are not obligated to absorb energy that doesn't belong to you
The Stoic Principle
When someone else is loud, hurt, or angry near you, the impulse is to take it on. You do not have to. Their state is their state. Your peace is a separate weather system. You can stand in the rain without being soaked.
The Stoic Support
"You are invincible if nothing outside the will can disconcert you."
Epictetus | Discourses & Selected Writings
Stoic Steps for Radical Resilience
Five moves for protecting your peace without freezing them out.
Identify whose storm it is
Trace the energy. Did this start in you, or did you catch it? If it is caught, the cure is different. (Mostly: distance.)
Don't match their volume
Volume escalates volume. Calm de-escalates. Even when you are 'right.' Especially when you are right. Your tone is the only thermostat in the room.
Don't try to fix their feeling in real time
You cannot talk someone out of being angry while they are angry. Tag the topic for later. 'Let us come back to this when we have both eaten.' Move on.
Step out for two minutes
Bathroom. Hallway. Outside. Two minutes of physical separation discharges the contagion. Most relationships would be saved by 'go for a walk.'
Audit your own state after
What did you absorb? Tightness in the chest? Replaying their words? Notice it. Name it. Then put it down. It was not yours to begin with.