For the secretly-jealous.
Jealousy is desire in a wig
Jealousy is just desire wearing an uncomfortable mask
The Stoic Principle
Jealousy is not a flaw. It is a leak in your map. You see what they have because some part of you actually wants it. The data is useful. The carrying-it-around is not.
The Stoic Support
"Nothing that goes on in anyone else's mind can hurt you. Then where is harm to be found? It is in your capacity to see harm. What happens to everyone - bad and good alike - is neither good nor bad. "
Marcus Aurelius | Meditations
Stoic Steps for Radical Resilience
Five moves for turning envy into a treasure map.
Decode the jealousy
'I am jealous of X' equals 'I want what X has, or who X is, or how X is treated.' Be specific about which. Jealousy without specifics is mood, not signal.
Ask if you'd actually trade lives
Not just the part you are jealous of. The whole package. Most jealousy dissolves at 'and their marriage.' You would take their wins. You would hate their bills.
Pick the small first move toward what you want
You cannot have their life. You can have a step toward yours. A class. A meeting. A draft. A conversation. Take one.
Compliment them out loud
The fastest way out of jealousy is contact with the human under the projection. Send the note. The brain cannot keep them as a villain when you are being kind.
Watch your own progress, not theirs
Comparison loops backward. Get out of the loop by spending more time looking at where you were last year and less at where they are this week.