For the ones cast in someone else's play.
Their plan is not your plan
Other people's expectations are their burden not yours to carry
The Stoic Principle
Other people's expectations of your life are a story they are telling themselves about themselves. You are cast in it without auditioning. You can decline the role.
The Stoic Support
"Leave other people's mistakes where they lie."
Marcus Aurelius | Meditations
Stoic Steps for Radical Resilience
Five steps for when the loudest voice in your head is not yours.
Identify the loudest voice
Whose expectations are pulling at you most? Parent? Old friend? Spouse? Specifically: whose opinion makes you flinch when you imagine telling them the truth?
Distinguish their care from their plan
They care about you. That is real. Their specific plan for your life is a separate thing they invented. You can keep the first and decline the second without being a jerk about it.
Reply with your own metric
When pushed: 'I am measuring this differently.' Do not argue their metric. Show your scoreboard. Most people back off when you reveal you have one.
Go low-information, not no-information
You do not owe them play-by-play. Share outcomes once they exist, not bets while you are placing them. Bets get advised. Outcomes get respected.
Hold the line warmly
'I love that you care. I am going to do this my way.' Said calmly, repeated as needed. Boundaries do not require a fight. They require repetition.