My youngest daughter turned 8 back in February. Her birthday is February 8th. So that was her "golden birthday." Let's consider this my "golden newsletter." 42 has been good to me. Also, if you have ever read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, you will know that 42 is the solution to the universe's big question.....no, I don't really know what that means.
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We like real estate in this house. Nothing like major. We are not flippers. But we like some Chip and Joanna, we like renovation shows, and we watched a YouTuber walk us through mega-mansions, penthouses, vacation villas - just as perhaps something to possibly aspire to or just to see pretty homes and environments.
This YouTuber had the typical advertisements for various companies and one was BetterHelp - an online therapy company. I have heard Conan advertise them on his podcast as well. But this real estate YouTuber, Eric Van Conover, spoke about how therapy was helpful for him to remain centered and in control.
So if you go look him up, you will find headings like "Touring a 120 year old gilded age NYC mansion," "Touring a $218,000,000 Florida Mega Mansion on a Private Island," as well as "YouTuber Erik Conover pleads guilty to hitting NH police officer with vehicle."
< !!! record scratch !!! >
Successful dude with friends with a lot of cash and the presence to talk to a therapist made a mistake. And now he is in prison for 4-10 years.
Every human has the capacity to make a really bad decision. At any moment in their lives. Tumultuous events around us increase those chances. And when they pile on each other, then....who knows.
What I am saying is that this life and our wiring requires constant vigilance. The Stoics encourage us to place ourselves in front of challenges so that when an unexpected challenge comes in our way, we are prepared. But we must prepare ourselves like Rocky in Rocky IV. Relentlessly without holding back with an awesome synth music montage going.
If every other week is not enough for you (it isn't for me), then seek out other things that keep you grounded and centered. Because one day we are pointing out how the marble in the grand foyer (pronounced 'foy-yay') carries through to the chef's kitchen and the next, we are pooping on a stainless steel commode while your roommate fashions a toothbrush into a shiv. The thing keeping us here is our decisions.
Instead of pretending that we are living some great story, we must remain focused on the execution and on executing with excellence. We must shun the false crown and continue working on what got us here. Because that's the only thing that will keep us here.
— Ego is the Enemy, Ryan Holiday
It is the fact that the leaders job is to think about the unthinkable. The only inexcusable offense for an officer is to be surprised. To say, I didn't think that would happen. Nothing possible should be alien.
— Courage is Calling, Ryan Holiday
I know that, at some level, events always match what I ought to reasonably expect, and while I don't always like the way events unfold, I would be naive to expect that they would unfold in a different way. In that, I find peace. As I try to influence the events with my input into the equations, I understand that I am but one in 1 million parameters that affects the path of life
— Solve for Happy, Mo Gawdat
Rads Take
These three quotes all tackle tried and true Stoic mentalities. Preparation. Continuous improvement. Acceptance.
In addition to preparing for failure - hedging ourselves. We also need to prepare for success. The $1B lottery winner. The founder that exited for $500M. Don't squander that. Don't let success tell you that you are better than others. Don't think that the hard work that got you that success is no longer required.
When you achieve the success that you were after, be prepared for it and know what you will do once it arrives. Know that you will continue to hold true to your values. You just might do it with a wave runner in-tow.
In the second quote, perhaps the throw away line is "nothing possible should be alien." We generally interpret that line, when abutted with the previous content, to be things that would be perceived as bad or that would be an obstacle. But if Marcus says "if it is humanly possible, you can do it too."
I think about my work and all that is now possible that wasn't before. If something is possible, we should expect it to happen. But the barriers to new possibilities are falling daily. It is on us to update our expectations but avoid constantly moving our goalposts for what can make us happy.
The new fridge will not make us happy. The new couch. The new promotion. The new job. The new girlfriend or boyfriend or spouse or baby (yes, even cuddly babies). The reason is because those are all externals. And externals do not control our happiness. We control that. And to relinquish that control to an external is to relinquish power -- willingly.
Now, consciously or unconsciously? If you are reading this right now and you are aware that these are logical facts, then the next time it happens, that answer is 'consciously'.
I am writing this newsletter so that the handful of folks that get to this point in it recognize their agency in their own mindset and temperament.
...and also, you rock for getting to the end!