So I am less of a sports fanatic these days (thanks to my focus on my family and my AI consulting business Rad Consultants) but still a sports fan. Also, the Flyers are up 3-0 on the Pens in the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Right, Doug? Did I get that right? I think I did.
But if you hear an athlete or a coach talk about the game, you hear all the cliches..."one game at a time", "control what we control", "just keep fighting", "I did a hard dump in the corner and my guys went in and picked it up and put it home."
Wait....Oh ok that is some hockey speak. Phew!
But the cliches are true. They will always be true. They will always be simple. Executing them will never be easy. Hence the constant reminders to themselves. But those cliches are pretty much out of the mouth of Marcus Aurelius himself.
The journalists hate the cliches. The fans hate the cliches. The sports talk radio hosts hate the cliches.
But using a cliche means the player is disciplined and well-trained. In the art of handling the media and in the athletic endeavor of their choosing. It doesn't mean they are successful, just disciplined (Temperance).
Players in the playoffs know a lot is on the line. They do not rise to the occasion. They fall back to their training. The level of training they have completed. Physically. Mentally. Through experience. On the practice field. In the film room.
The ones that know they have trained properly are that much more confident and more likely to be successful.
So what does that mean for us? Are we seeking out training for our current pursuit or are we relying on hoping what got us here will take us where we want to be in 12 month or 5 years? Are we continuing to push towards excellence no matter our age or title or are we happy to be complacent?
We can be grateful for where we have gotten while having a goal that will keep pushing us. There are 16 quotes in the library that contain the word "goal". Go find one you like.
While most of our decisions are (ideally) driven by logic, most of our actions are actually driven by emotions. The reality we cover up is that we tend to make our decisions based on emotions first and then gather the data that support those decisions.
— -- Mo Gawdat, Solve for Happy
There's nothing manly about rage. It's courtesy and kindness that define a human being -- and a man. That's who possesses strength and nerves and guts, not the angry whiners.
— -- Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
Someone bathes in haste; don’t say, he baths badly, but in haste. Someone drinks, a lot of wine; don’t say he drinks badly, but a lot. Until you know their reasons, how do you know that their actions are vicious? This will save you from perceiving one thing clearly, but then assenting to something different.
— -- Epictetus, Discourses & Selected Writings
Rads Take
So Mo is saying that our emotions are, more often than not, in charge of our actions and then we justify our occasionally (frequently) poor actions with logic. In science, they call that "an excuse."
"Wait a second! I don't take poor actions frequently!"
In steps "Quote 3". Perceptions. Everything we see, myself included, is through a lens. Through a perception where 'all the things I do are logical and what any reasonable person would do.' We have perceptions on what we have done. We have perceptions on what others have done. We may judge others harshly. We may judge ourselves warmly.
But we are generally rather self-critical. Not warm to ourselves.
Let's bring back in a sports analogy. And sports talk radio. Caller after caller says "this guy sucks," "send him down to triple-A," and "fire the coach." But then if a dirty Pens or Mets fan calls in (yes, dirty), we are quick to back our guys.
The same is true with ourselves. If someone attacks us, we defend ourselves and explain how the data and logic says our action was correct. But at a level of stasis, we are definitely critical on ourselves. Especially if our mindset, identity, and environment says we should be.
I just saw a Michael Jordan quote today that said you can only live up to your own expectations. Never to someone else's. But what are your own expectations? Are they realistic? Do you have any at all? Be intentional about what you are doing and lay out your path.
Jumping back to quote 2 with Marcus, are strength and guts really manifested in kindness? Kindness is selflessness. Selflessness is truly using the neocortex instead of the amygdala. Based on what I know (which is some), I agree. But Marcus' Meditations is his own journal - not meant for public consumption. He is not lecturing others. He is lecturing himself. About the evils of rage. He needs to remind himself that it is not through rage that he will serve his empire - but through kindness. That is where he can lead by example in keeping anger at bay and intentionally choosing kindness which is a display of strength.