There are things not in your control. There are things not in my control. What do we do in spite of that?
Elliot is cute. He is small. He bites my hand. He pees in the kitchen. Elliot is a good boy.
I didn't want Elliot.
......I.....don't(?) want Elliot....?
Conflicted, I am. This little 10-week-old Mini Bernedoodle will only get better and more chill and most likely be up for throwing a tennis ball around for hours in the yard. He comes with his own set of challenges. As a Stoic, we are encouraged to embrace challenges. To get creative in finding happiness in spite of what the world throws us as "not perfect".
I told my mom today that if I had the chance to pick one dog from a pool of 10,000, I would pick Elliot. But he is still placing challenges at my feet - challenges I might prefer to avoid.
We had 2 solid yeses. 1 solid no. And I was essentially an abstention. I saw it as my Stoic capability for resilience and embracing "preferred indifferents" - the notion that you can have preferences but ultimately, you could be happy either way - so you are indifferent.
How far does "preferred indifferents" deviate from apathy? "I don't give a shit" is different from "I could go either way."
I do give a shit. When Elliot pees and poops outside, I throw him a little party. I give him a little treat, and tell him he is a good boy. But still...
Now we have had Elliot for 4-5 days. I expect him to become better behaved in the biting and the accidents areas. And I expect I will increasingly come around to being a guy that has a dog...but probably stop short of being a full-blown "dog person". This uninvited challenge could have some positive effects just yet...
Because we are the only animals who not only die, but are conscious of it even while it happens, we are beset by anxiety.
— -- Epictetus, Discourses & Selected Writings
Lack of agency is contagious. It seems like it never occurred to anyone that we could do something about this.
— -- Ryan Holiday, Courage is Calling
Dying is an integral part of the process of living. The minute we are born is the minute we start to die. Death is not an event. It’s a process.
— -- Mo Gawdat, Solve for Happy
Rads Take
Is ignorance bliss? Would you rather not know something than know it? The Stoics point to 4 cardinal virtues -- Courage, Justice, Temperance, and Wisdom. They point to this to maximize happiness and purpose. To discard one would reduce their chances of being happy.
To embrace ignorance is to willingly discard Wisdom. "yea, nah I'm good. I'd rather have no clue."
So is Wisdom actually bliss? Or is it ignorance? "Blissfully unaware"...
What's with this diatribe? Epictetus in quote 1 claims - probably astutely - that our knowledge of our own mortality causes some folks to live in a state of dread. Foreboding that the clock is ticking so we might as well worry about it.
The Stoics say, yea, that is a choice. Or you can see the fleeting nature of all things as a spur to get you to embrace the present moment. Since that hug you are enjoying, your kids being the age they are, or your impressive physique will not last forever. Knowledge and intelligence is a gift. They are tools that can be used for good or evil. It is up to us how we view them and use them.
Don't be a jackass. Literally, jackasses don't know they are going to die as Epictetus stated.
Moving to Ryan and agency. In life, we are our own agents. We have power of attorney for ourselves and our decisions. However, that is not documented anywhere and most people therefore don't acknowledge it. Passively living their lives and coming and going at the whims of the companies, their families, their governments, what have you. But that balance between control, acceptance, and influence is all about temperance and all about awareness.
I listened to Sun Tzu's Art of War a while back and I don't have the quote but I am sure there is something along the lines of "only attack when it's the right time to attack and when you have the highest chance of succeeding."
We can see what is happening in the world and have intentions to do something about it. That doesn't mean every second that you can you should be making a big stink. Just when it is appropriate and will serve your interests. But being aware of your agency is key.
Welp, another death one - this time form Mo. So we know that we are going to die as Epictetus said and the process of death starts in the delivery room.
In the words of Jim Carrey from Liar, Liar...
But yes, let me acknowledge this one quickly and then wish you a happy 2026...
Seneca said that time that passes belongs to death. So death is not something that is far off in the distant. But something that we look back on and will never get back. "..........shit"
Yes....that.
But if that is the case, we MUST be so damn intentional with our time and how we are spending it. We don't get it back. We won't get a second chance to spend that hour.
Live everyday with that knowledge in mind and you won't regret it.