You won't remember the things you thought. So write them down. Here is me doing that. Instead of waiting until the Wednesday evening before my Thursday distribution to get content down, here's what we got from the last fortnight:
11/25: Waiting in the car rider drop-off line today, I told the girls "If you're not aware you're making decisions, then you're not aware." I liked that. I wrote it down. Awareness and an acknowledgement of complete agency is the essence of Stoicism.
11/26: (It's still 11/25 - fine, I'll wait 'til tomorrow (I had one of those red squiggle misspelling alerts on "til" so I had to put the apostrophe. Shut up. I am not that anal. Shut up.)). OK it's tomorrow! Was talking to a 6th grade teacher last night at parent-teacher conferences (my girls are saints in case you're wondering!). He was saying how important it is that kids surround themselves with the right kids. The same goes for us. But as we get older and more digital, our in-person "right kids" are dwindling and who we are surrounding ourselves with are social media content creators and news media. Who are you surrounding yourself with? Who are you intentionally spending your time with? We can't get that time back so choose wisely.
11/27: Got frustrated in the car today with my daughter. "I shouldn't have to explain it to you!" ...Silence. Why did I respond like that? Yes, she was asking a question that I thought was pretty obvious. Nicholson in A Few Good Men said "I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself..." and he said that in quite a perturbed tone. Why don't we want to explain ourselves? It does take time - time that get us nowhere and only serves those around us. We expect them to fully understand our rationale when clearly they do not. Kids, spouses, bosses, friends - whomever. We can't expect that. Poor Expectation + Dormant Impatience -> Frustration -> Anger.
11/28: Words are increasing in importance. Communicating with AI and prompting well is the bedrock of how 99% of people will interact with it. But without a strong vocabulary, you won't communicate well with the AI. When dealing with Stoicism, many folks could say "that is just words and semantics." But words matter - both the words we use with others and the words we use with ourselves. They can be hurtful and keep you in a bad place or do the opposite.
11/29: Driving gives us the chance to interact with people that we normally wouldn't. Social media allows us to be very anonymous when tends to see people getting away with things they can't get away with in reality. Driving is a level down from that but anonymity is still largely applied. And people driving a car largely suck at driving cars - mostly the people you are thinking about right now. Use it as a chance to apply some Stoic tips so even if you have a layer of anonymity, you don't use it for harm or a chance to let out some aggression or impatience.
11/30: Speaking of driving...yesterday's drive back from Peddler's Village was....a fun one. Relatively speaking, it was a breeze. But in the moment, it's not easy to speak relatively. LSS...crazy kids. I found myself using my words well but the manner in which I was using them was passive aggressive. Applying a Stoic mindset with half-measures is a bit like not applying it at all. Growth to be had.
12/1: As you look back at what is acceptable now and what was acceptable before, you should be grateful for the growth you have enjoyed. The goal posts are always moving in life which keeps the hamster wheel spinning. But even though the finish line just won't get closer, appreciate the steps you have made along the way. If I am now working on passive aggressiveness, I am not working on an out-of-control rant - go me!
12/2: Skipped this day. Oops!
12/3: Man, what a load of crap above! You read all that??? Well, if you did and ANY of it resonates with you but you just might not want to tell people about it, then I hope it was helpful for you! If you dug it in any way, let me know!
12/4: Hey! That's today! Forward this to your friends and tell them to read The Rad Stoic.
When someone caught in an argument hardens to stone, there is just no more reasoning with them.
— -- Epictetus, Discourses & Selected Writings
The conventional mind is passive - it consumes information and regurgitates it in familiar forms. The dimensional mind is active, transforming everything it digests into something new and original, creating instead of consuming.
— -- Robert Greene, Mastery
Constant awareness that everything is born from change. All that exists is the seed of what will emerge from it. You think the only seeds are the ones that make plants or children? Go deeper.
— -- Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
Rads Take
Someone that is not open to new information that has already made up their mind and will NEVER change it, no matter what, is actively turning away from logic. Stoicism recognizes that everything is born from change. The Stoics expect that and appreciate that. There are folks you deal with that are hardened on one topic but very open minded to others. You may be one of those people!
Today, I will be talking (talked?) to a group of physicians about Stoicism and at the end, I have a "if you remember one thing about this presentation" slide. It calls out 1) Massive Accountability and 2) Supreme Tolerance. Those are my 2 "essence of Stoicism" terms I like to use. But neither are possible without a level of awareness.
You may look disappointingly at someone that you work with, live with, or otherwise know enough to keep your distance that you wish would be a bit more flexible with their belief system or just way they go about doing things (I chew too loudly - some things are crunchy!).
But when you have that thought of someone and how you wish they would change, instead, use that as a trigger point to gain some self-awareness. You may be fully in the right. But a self-eval you did 3 months ago may be out of date. Awareness is key.
For quote #2, Greene is telling us to create instead of consume. But in both scenarios, we require some input. We need to ingest books, teachings, videos, whatever. We cannot operate on instinct alone. But the delineation he points to is what happens once we consume it? Do we apply our uniqueness to that content or do we just regurgitate the content as a plagiarist so we can look smart? To do the former requires creativity and intentionality. "OK, I am going to watch this 90-minute YouTube video. And given its content, I am going to do...." Undertake time-consuming endeavors with a purpose.
Well I got around to reading quote #3 and realized that I cited it as backup for my analysis in quote #1! But let's have a deeper look. "Seeds are the only ones that make plants and children." Ideas are grown from seeds. Companies are grown from seeds. Sometimes those seeds are a massive infusion of cash, a promotion, a partnership. And sometimes they are a layoff, a breakup, the death of a loved one.
If we can adjust our perspective to see all that happens as the beginning of something positive, well that'd be just darn fantastic! The thing is, I don't control how you view them. You do.