Saturday night I was brushing my teeth and water got down the wrong pipe.
No, I dont mean the sink drain.
But then I couldn’t get rid of them. I am writing this on Saturday with the hiccups.
Hic! Hic! Hic!
STOP!!!
They won’t stop. I’m holding my breath. I’m pushing down on my diaphragm. I’m ignoring them. I’m calming my entire body. Yes, I’m drafting this email.
But they won’t go away. “Errrggg” I murmur as I read Start with Why by Simon Sinek next to my daughter.
So….am I getting angry? Will that help? Am I in control of my body? Even after trying the common solutions --- I am not.
So just let it go...
Hic. Hic. Hic….
But it just reminded me how pervasive this philosophy can be. Things are not going perfectly. I’m not in full control of my body.
What do you mean "we are not in control of our body"?
Well, we don’t control how tall we are. How quickly we recover from a cold. Our hairline. The rate of healing of that cuticle we pulled a bit too raw.
It’s amazing to think of all the things that we are not in control of. But it should just point our attention to the things we are in control of. Our thoughts. Our words. Our actions. Our decisions. That’s really it, friends. (I call people that can't hear me 'friend' when I am driving -- mostly the people I would not imagine I would actually be friends cuz they SUCK as a driver --- with but y'all are OK by me).
So if that’s all we got, -- thoughts, words, actions, decisions -- shouldn’t we treat them like a valued commodity? But instead, we get angry that we got the hiccups. That our boss wrote an incisive email. That our kids don’t listen. That it’s too hot or too cold or too rainy or too sunny.
Treat the things that we actually control with the appropriate level of respect. They are our own inherent value. Treat them as valuable.
Hiccup! Ok now this is getting ridiculous….
Because we are the only animals who not only die but are conscious of it even while it happens, we are beset by anxiety.
— – Epictetus, Discourses & Selected Writings
So other people hurt me? That's their problem. Their character and actions are not mine. What is done to me is ordained by nature, what I do, by my own.
— – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
The spirit is full of life, and delighted to be having only limited dealings with the body.
— – Seneca, Letters from a Stoic
Rads Take
Epictetus and Seneca both taking shots at how useless our bodies are. Which moderately echoes my hiccup debacle above (I am writing this Wednesday night and still remember that hiccup barrage).
Epictetus -- yes, talking about death again -- more or less flippantly says "get over it. You will not last forever." Mo Gawdat says that our birth and our death are the front and back cover of a book but what we do with our lives is the pages -- it's really what matters. So don't lament that you will finish the book that you started writing. Or, I guess you can lament it. And then watch other folks that don't and think about which one you'd want to be.
Now with Seneca, he isn't saying 'get over it.' He is saying there are limitations that being tied to a physical form brings and we can look at that as shackles or we can recognize that our true value is in our thoughts and actions.
There will always be things that are out of our control - in this scenario, our bodies. But if you are strong-willed and purposeful, that lack of control will not hold you back. You will have to deal with it, yes, but for a "spirit that is full of life," you can thrive within those limits. Similar to Frankl at the 4 concentration camps he survived.
The second quote....a popular reaction nowadays to someone doing something stupid is "wow....". Observe. Note. Learn. Move on. Some jackwagon yelling at the Target lady or yelling at you does not necessitate you to yell right back or to diminish your own character. Take some time to pause and respond instead of react.
We want other people to conduct themselves in a manner that would benefit society instead of their own base needs. But if we know that at least one person in the world will be a jackwagon today, we cannot be surprised when we encounter said jackwagon. Sometimes, the jackwagons of the world seem to descend upon our local communities at all hours. Darn those jackwagons!
....sorry...but it wouldn't be "Rad" without some flying off the handle from time to time.
But to get back to the quote, Marcus clearly separates "what is done to me" and "what I do". We always have that same ability to demarcate those 2 things. "What I do" is ordained by me. That is the ultimate seizing of individual agency and empowerment. A realization that what we do is fully up to us.
Now Stoicism may have a bit of a rap as you read these newsletters: "just do you and screw everyone else." But think about the individual empowerment that it underscores. Think about what decisions you can make that could make the world better.
So yes, it is aimed at individual happiness and contentment, but the philosophy also states that the ultimate happiness is when the hive is operating in top form.
What decisions can you make the contribute to the hive?
===============================
On piano, I practiced Emma and Sebastian's theme, Mad World, and Clair de Lune but didn't get anything on video. If you want it, let me know. Need to hear from ya!